Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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