Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
