She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
