I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's rum buckets o'clock
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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