Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize