i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
