All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
