Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
