i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
