This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I smell like Dick and happiness
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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