I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
