OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
