We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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