are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
