My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
