Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Fuck appropriateness.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
