I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
