I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Enjoy the penises
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
