all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
