thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
