The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
