a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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