garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
