Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize