so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Randomize
