whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize