everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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