Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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