what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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