When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
