maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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