I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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