I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
