A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
