singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
