btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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