we have pet lesbian snakes
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize