So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
