There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
These tits shall not be calmed
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize