Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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