you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
