i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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