The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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