Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
