Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
