out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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