She said her name was "party"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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