I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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