it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
