i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
