if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
