It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
