She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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