Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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