I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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