try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
