Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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