I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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