see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
