grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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