We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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