It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize