The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize